


Whiskey Rocks

by JaziandCo



Series: Secrets - Shadowhunters (TV) [6]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: 1.09 Ficlet, F/M, Gen, M/M, Original Character(s), Pre-Relationship, Trans Male Character, transgender alec lightwood
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-07-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 10:47:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,436
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11462001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JaziandCo/pseuds/JaziandCo
Summary: Let it be known that Magnus had realized the Lightwood children were absolutely hiding something from him very early in the game. The warlock took another sip of his drink- whiskey rocks, much needed after the day he’d had. What that secret was, well. Probably the last thing he’d expected to hear from any of Maryse’s get. Say what you will about Alec’s bull-headed tendencies and inability to deal with personal stress, but the boy was absolutely a master of subtlety.





	Whiskey Rocks

Let it be known that Magnus had realized the Lightwood children were absolutely hiding something from him very early in the game. The warlock took another sip of his drink- whiskey rocks, much needed after the day he’d had. What that secret was, well. Probably the last thing he’d expected to hear from any of Maryse’s get. Say what you will about Alec’s bull-headed tendencies and inability to deal with personal stress, but the boy was absolutely a master of subtlety.

 

And, well, Magnus supposed, you’d have to be, to be raised by Maryse and still be gay  _ and _ transgender.

 

It’s not like he’d never heard of it before- he  _ had _ been in New York City for Stonewall, after all. Hell, he’d participated. That was the bonus of being immortal; mortals may change their vocabulary to fit the times or adjust their rate of acceptance on a topic, but it was a poor way to define what’s always existed.

 

And it’s not that he feels any aversion to Alec’s… predicament. Quite the contrary, actually. He’s always fallen for the soul before the sex, and Alec’s body does not change what he feels for Alec’s soul. The boy was really a lot of new for him- Magnus had never been one to believe in love at first sight and yet here he was, pining and nursing his heartache drink for a young man who’d lived life caught between a rock and a hard place, completely disarmed by his  _ feelings _ . He’d never, actually,  _ seriously _ , pursued a Shadowhunter. He’d never been with someone who was transgender- at least, no one who  _ told him _ about it, though it’s always possible that someone could have kept that to themselves. He  _ is _ bisexual, he’s never been particularly choosy on what that person has in their pants, so long as everyone’s consenting and he likes their personality. And their face. He’s vain too.

 

And, while he’s always been self-assured that he was most certainly a man, he knew firsthand how it was to feel out of place in your own body. To be rejected by your community for something you couldn’t control. To have pieces of yourself you wished to change, or that you took care to hide from prying eyes.

 

So no, what has him moping is not the conversation he just got done having with Alexander. Not  _ that part, _ anyway.

 

The day had started out fairly similar to yesterday- a fire message from one Lydia Branwell- Head of the Institute instead of Maryse Lightwood who would never dream about calling for him and probably wouldn’t pay him as well- about a Forsaken. This time, though, instead of trying to eat Luke’s pack for breakfast, it had directly attacked the Institute and Alec and a few others had been injured. This one didn’t need deliberation. That’s personal.

 

The first thing to take care of was rebuilding the wards. While even his magic had limits, the Shadowhunters desperately needed something to discourage another ambush while the injured were left to recover. The New York Institute had never really been the most well stocked garrison, something Magnus had, admittedly,  _ enjoyed _ because it meant less annoyances cleaning up Nephilim disasters in the Downworld. Unfortunately, that meant times like this were high stress moments, because the more people injured meant the less people to prevent a second occurrence.

 

Robert Lightwood had seemed satisfied with the abbreviated explanation, leaving after Magnus gave a quip he couldn’t resist on his prices. The warlock couldn’t complain, being semi-alone with Alexander was always a welcome perk of working for a branch of the ever-ungrateful Clave. Noting Alec was on his feet and looked mostly fine, save for the bandage on his arm, he stepped close to offer some help. “A Forsaken wound often needs a little warlock TLC. May I? Free of charge-”

 

But Alec had stepped away from him, tilting his shoulder even further out of Magnus’ reach. “It’s okay,” he said a little too quickly, looking around at the people gathered down below, “I’m fine.”

 

“Alexander, if anything were to happen to you, I’d-”

 

“Magnus.” Alec cut him off again, a little more harshly this time, and Magnus had flinched just a bit. A flash of regret across the boy’s face, and then a softer, “I’m good. Alright? S- I gotta-”

 

“Go?” Magnus did not manage to keep the disappointment out of his voice, but did swallow it as he continued, “Of course. You’re a busy man and I should find this Lydia person. Payment up front is just smart business. Where might I find her?”

 

“I haven’t seen her, but if I do, I’ll send her your way.”

 

And then Alec walked away, and Magnus had pursed his lips to keep himself from saying what he’d actually wanted to in that moment. Thinking back on it, now, as he pouted on the balcony, of course the boy had seemed distant. He’d decided just prior that he was going to shut out everything screaming at him that his  _ very intelligent _ idea to have an unhappy marriage with someone he didn’t love  _ and get a child involved _ was very poorly thought out, and anything that reminded him that there was life outside of what his parents thought he should do needed to be silenced immediately. Which had included Magnus’ flirting.

 

At the time, though, the warlock had thought it was simply one step forward and two steps back, same as his advances had been since the beginning with the young Shadowhunter. Alec did not like being pushed, and had made it clear that he wasn’t ready, and so Magnus let him go.

 

He hadn’t quite been prepared for Jace and Isabelle to corner him just after finishing the preliminary autopsy of Forsaken 2.0 and leaving it on the desk there for the Shadowhunter examining the body with him to add to. He had already spoken with Lydia regarding his payment (he may have given her a slight discount- what, was he  _ supposed _ to bankrupt Alec’s precious workplace?) and was en route to leave when they pulled him into a… private conference.

 

“Let me get this straight- you need  _ Alec’s _ stele to open the safe and you want  _ me _ to steal it from him?” Just so we’re clear.

 

“We prefer the word ‘borrow’,” began Jace.

 

“Without his knowledge,” Izzy finished. Left unsaid: or his permission.

 

“No,” Magnus wanted to be in Alec’s  _ good _ graces, and also prefered not be hung from the ceiling by his toes by the Clave for supposed stele theft, “No can do. Not happening.”

 

Jace stopped him with a hand on his shoulders (you know, people  _ really _ need to stop touching him) and tag teamed with Isabelle to remind him that Meliorn’s life was potentially at stake… and that the Queen would be  _ particularly _ upset at him if he had known a knight in her court was to be tortured and he did nothing about it. Magnus didn’t  _ like _ Alec’s siblings’ idea, but it was true that something needed to be done to put a stop to what would happen next, and they already had a plan.

 

“Fine,” and the warlock held up his hand to keep them from being too excited, “but you’re both going to owe me. I’m talking 14th century- gold, rubies,  _ definitely _ diamonds. And Alec can never know.”

 

And they accepted his terms, quite readily. He didn’t want to know where they were going to get his payment from- Magnus knew he had to be quick about this and that there was a very real chance that he would dash whatever hopes he had for Alec against the wall with one wrong move. They’d told him where Alec’s room was, saying he’d gone in there earlier to treat that Forsaken wound, and within very little time that’s where he’d found himself.

 

He’d used a bit of magic to peer through one of the decorative squares in the wall, just to get a look through the room and locate both Alec and the stele without being seen. The boy was standing in a corner, back to him, having apparently just shucked his shirt off. His jacket was folded against the back of the chair, his stele poking out of one of the pockets. Alec hissed suddenly, peeling the bandage off his arm as he turned towards Magnus and-

 

_ Oh _ .

 

Well. That. Was not what he had expected a shirtless Alexander to look like. At all.

 

Magnus blinked several times, rearranging his thoughts and settling back to the task at hand. In short order, he’d snapped Alec’s stele to the spot Jace had specified, and after a few seconds and a text that said the job was done, snapped it back. And took several more seconds to process what he’d just learned, starting a bit when Alec, now fully clothed, grabbed his jacket and made for the door. He wiped the wall clean of any evidence of what he’d been doing, acting like he was still tightening the wards and had just  _ happened _ to be at that particular stretch of Institute when the boy came through the door.

 

“All done for today!” Magnus chirped, possibly a few moment too early, but he was having trouble pushing down his surprise, “The place is secure. Not bad for a day’s work.” Alec remained quiet, putting on his jacket over his buttoned-up shirt. “Thought I’d see how you were doing.”

 

Alec stepped in front of him, stopping when he was facing the warlock. “I meant to thank you, for your advice.” What? Gratitude was rare enough in Magnus’ line of work, but gratitude from  _ a Shadowhunter _ was just unheard of. “The whole… follow your heart thing.”

 

“Oh, well, what can I say? I have a deep understanding of the human psyche. At least that’s what Freud always said.” This was easier- flirting in lieu of blurting out what was actually on his mind. Alexander seemed receptive enough, now that they were alone, and he just had to put a few things to re-

 

“I’m getting married.”

 

“Whoa.” He couldn’t stop that thought from coming out. Too close to raw emotion, Magnus had at least  _ tried _ to play it off. “That’s a bit sudden, don’t you think? We should  _ really _ go out to dinner first.”

 

“Listen, Magnus. Family is everything to me. You have to know that.” Alec seemed serious about this and- was he  _ actually _ being serious about marrying him? Not that he minded the enthusiasm, but he hadn’t expected one of  _ Maryse Lightwood’s _ children to jump into something like that without considering the potential backlash.

 

“I get it,” he’d heard himself saying, “you’re part of a don’t ask don’t tell culture.” And didn’t he know it. “I’m fine with it. You’re a traditional guy.”

 

“Yeah, I am.” Oh, Lilith. He  _ was _ actually serious about this. “That’s why I proposed to Lydia.”

 

Oh.

 

_ Oh _ .

 

“That’s… interesting.” And Magnus hadn’t been able to keep the surprise off his face for this, either. He had been  _ sure _ that Alexander was gay- but then he’d also been  _ sure _ that “Alec” was short for “Alexander” and, as it turns out, it might not be.

 

“It makes sense. It’s a solid partnership. For both of us. Together, we’ll run the Institute, and- I mean- I’m sure you’ve figured out by now why everyone except Jace and Izzy calls me Alexis. And now Lydia calls me Alec too, she doesn’t mind, and there’s a loophole that lets it happen. My parents will get off my back about kids because Lydia’s already had one, and we can raise her together. We can be a family.”

 

Magnus had been appalled for several reasons. One- that he had apparently been too dense to see that Alec’s shying away from him had much less to do with him being gay and  _ far  _ more to do with him thinking he’d been outed, which was ironic, by the way, because the warlock had only  _ just _ put that together. Two- not so much that his parents knew and didn’t care, but that outside of his siblings Alec had zero support until now and had attached himself to the first person who told him they _ didn’t mind _ . Three- that he had somehow been in and out of this Institute twice now and had still not realized that the same “Alexis” he’d heard about in passing was the man he’d been calling “Alexander”. Though that solved the confusion over how many daughters and sons Maryse has.

 

And four- that Alec would do something this drastically stupid,  _ and _ involve a child along the way.

 

What he ended up saying, though is, “A solid partnership. That’s…  _ hot _ .” And he corralled his temper back down, because it’s really not Alec’s fault they’ve ended up at this juncture. He knew when he’s beaten, even if he thought this was an amazingly ridiculous idea that was sure to end in a lot of misery for all three of them. “Well, okay then. Congratulations. Marriage is a wonderful institution… not that I would know. Goodbye, Alexander.”

 

And with that, he had walked away, turned the corner, and portaled back to his loft, not willing to experience the walk of shame waiting for him. And had gone straight to his liquor cabinet, poured himself a drink, and resolved to be  _ very _ drunk by the end of the night.

 

Which is how he’d ended up here- on his balcony, an empty bottle of whiskey next to him and a second on the way there. The ice in his drink clinked and he scrubbed his face, knowing there were no tears but halfway wishing there would be. No, no, this feeling he knew well. In all his long life, no one had ever reciprocated Magnus’ feelings equally. He had always been the one chasing and he had always been the one waiting to be loved as strongly as he loved them. He was quick to love, quick to trust, and had always ended up burned by it down the line. That was why he’d walled himself off from love in the first place- a lesson Camille had taught him well. Maybe it was true. There was no such thing as love for immortals. She’d certainly thought so when she effectively ripped his heart out and stomped on it. Here he’d thought he’d had another chance, only to lose it before it began to politics and idiocy.

 

And so he poured himself another glass, knowing he would be out there for the bulk of the night and then some. He had potions for the hangover that would come in the morning.

**Author's Note:**

> No update yesterday- had a lot of things to do. Alternate title: That Moment You See Magnus' Heart Physically Break In Half.
> 
> Thank you everyone for your continued support and encouragement :)
> 
> Beta'd by the lovely BiconBane


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